Dialing down the stress level

An article in the Washington Post points out the insanity of the college admission process. Kids are stressing out about grades, test scores, and AP classes, in the race to get into the top schools.

Overachieving Students Told to Lighten Up

There has always been stress in students' lives, but parents, counselors and experts say there is more today than ever. And teens say most often it is schoolwork and college applications that are putting them on edge.

In a 2005 poll, conducted by The Washington Post, the Kaiser Family Foundation and Harvard University, more than half the D.C. area adolescents surveyed -- 58 percent -- said school was their biggest cause of stress. About 35 percent of local teens said they experienced stress frequently, compared with 27 percent of teens nationwide.

"People make it seem like you can't be competitive if you don't take a thousand AP courses," said Elaine Singerman, a junior at Oakton High School in Vienna. "It's like our educational system is eating us alive."

What matters most is a good fit between student and school. I'm not saying kids shouldn't challenge themselves in high school, shouldn't always do their best. It's going beyond what's reasonable and sane, in the push to gain admittance to the "dream school," that goes too far. Most kids are not Ivy League material. And that's not only OK, that's great, because there are schools out there for every kid, schools that will guide students toward a successful and happy life. The goal shouldn't be to reach the "top", it should be to find a comfortable school that will make the next four years not only challenging but exciting, and yes, even fun.

So tell your kid (and yourself) to take a few deep breaths, and realize the best school is the one that fits the real student. The kids that succeed at the Harvards and MITs are the students who don't have to struggle and give up fun to get in. For the rest, the right school is out there.